Let’s be honest, it’s challenging to keep marital bliss alive after retiring because this is a time of great transition. A substantial amount of free time and significant lifestyle changes can prove to be a burden or a blessing for your marriage sometimes. The secret to making a smooth transition into retirement is pre-planning, regardless of if both spouses retire at the same. For instance, it is less likely for a 7/24 marriage to be fulfilling when one or maybe both individuals where task-driven individuals that had their own careers. Being joined at the hip might be a source of frustration and boredom for retired couples who lived independent and somewhat separate lives during their working years. Others might look forward to the opportunity to spend time with each other. Here are some of most important steps to take before you retire to keep marital bliss:
1. PLAN. It is important to know your personality well and structure your golden years accordingly. It is important for you to plan ahead how you will spend your time if you are a worker bee or overachiever that needs outside stimulation. You might opt to volunteer, get a part-time job, get a puppy, write a book, finish home renovations, join an organization, play golf or take up a new hobby. It better to know what you want to do with your extra time before you get on each other’s nerves.
Even though retirement is a natural life process, many retirees still experience the same effects that one would expect after a job loss. A reduction in social contact combined with not being needed at work cause a lot of retirees to question their identities. Depression and feelings of worthlessness are common and can even have a negative impact on the quality of your relationship. You owe it to yourself and your spouse to:
2. LIVE WITH A PURPOSE. Shift the focus from yourself to others. Contribute your knowledge and life experience in organizations. For instance, you can help young people to flourish by getting involved with youth groups and sharing your skills and life lessons. Socializing with your kids and grand-kids will help you to stay alert and young. Read, exercise, surf the Internet, learn a new skill or language. Get involved with activities that fill your heart with passion and keep your brain working.
Conflicts can arise regarding how time will be spent or who does what when only one spouse is retiring. For instance, the spouse at home might be expected to take on more chores, including ones that they were not responsible before. Arguments about time allocated for play or chores are likely to occur. To prevent conflict and increase the marital bliss:
3. PRACTICE MUTUAL RESPECT. If you are the spouse, that is still working, don’t punish your retired partner because they reach the golden years before you. Remember that your spouse deserves the benefits that come with retirement including freedom, enjoyment, more time, dignity of retirement and respect. While he or she can be expected to help more with household chores, respect that your partner has to get the freedom that’s required to determine how to have live a purpose-filled life as a retiree. Again, talk about and plan ahead how time will be spent prior to retirement, it will save you many arguments.
Staying busy has proven to be beneficial for all retirees. Ways to keep busy can vary from one individual to the next. It is usually challenging to find the right balance of time alone and shared hobbies because of different expectations. Some retired couples are delighted to do everything with each other, while others need and enjoy some time on their own. Allow each other to:
4. BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS NEW STAGE OF YOUR LIFE. Remember, you worked hard for years and deserve to enjoy your retirement. It is about taking advantage of the opportunity to do things you did not have time to do before. This could include anything from traveling to unknown destinations or maybe even getting some more sleep. Anything from learning a new hobby to helping people in an undeveloped country to access clean water in an undeveloped country. You should support your spouse in their efforts to live a happy retirement that aligns with their unique personality. Always bear in mind, your spouse and their individual needs are just as significant as you.
Many retirees use this time to strengthen their marriage. A stale marriage usually stems from prior time commitments and work distractions. This is your time to create intimacy and keep the marital bliss alive even after retiring. Get on with it and:
5. REMEMBER TO KEEP THE LOVE STRONG. Love is something that you display with your actions it is not something that you just possess. Now that you have more time, be romantic. Plan for movies, romantic dinners, picnics, or vacations. Cherish each other, compliment each other, and attempt to surprise each other with romantic gifts. Take time out of your day to talk with each other, communicate your fears, feelings, and passions. A guaranteed way to create intimacy is via making love whenever you can. Don’t forget that love does not have an expiry date and maintaining a loving relationship one-way-ticket to enjoying those glorious years that are known as the golden years.